SMS in Hindi, Funny Hindi Jokes, Shayari in Hindi

Ek Faqeer tha…
Bheekh maangne ke liye masjid ke bahar baitha tha..
Sab namaazi Ankh bacha kar chale gaye
Aur use kuchh na mila.
Wo phir church gaya, Phir mandir
Or  Phir gurudware.
Lekin, usko kisi ne kuch na diya..
Aakhir mein wo Ek Beer bar ke bahar aa kar baith gaya..
Jo bhi sharabi bahar nikalte
woh uske katore me kuch daal dete..
Uska katora noto se bhar gaya…
Fakir bola.
“Waah re Prabhu”
Rehte kahan ho, Aur Address kahan ka Dete ho..!

Santa’s e-banking password was:

“ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-kejriwal”

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?

Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie….

Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Kejri uncle kyun ??

Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai…. 

Hum chat par charhe patang urane ke bahane, 
Wo bhi chat par aayi kapde sukhane ke bahane, 

Uske mummy ne jo dekha ye haseen nazara, 
Jhadu le aayi wo bandar bhagane ke bahane.

Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, 
Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney, 


Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki ko pataney main, 
Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kiya jaaney

Murgi aur Kauwe ki shaadi fix ho gyi.
Murga:- Aakhir mujhme kya kami thi, tumhari cast ka tha, us kauwa me aisa kya tha. 
Murgi:- Amma baba ki khwahish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye.

Sunny Leone:- "Ragini MMS 2" me sabko dara ke rakh dungi.
Pappu:- Darr to aapki pehle ki movies me bhi lagta tha, 
            Kahin peeche se mummy papa na aa jayein.

Ques:- What is the Full-form of Maths??
Ans:- Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students.

Argument between British and India. 
British:- We spoiled your mother land for 200 years. 
India:- We are spoiling your mother tongue daily.

Ek Train me yatra karte hue do Girls baat kar rahin thi..
First Girl - Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye?
Second Girl - Mujhe ek CROREPATI pati chahiye.
First Girl - Agar CROREPATI nahin mila to.
Second Girl - To 50 lakh k 2 pati bhi chalenge.
First Girl - Agar 50 lakh wala bhi nahin mila to.
Second Girl - To 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chalenge.
In dono ki baat sunkar upar ki berth par baitha hua SANTA bola
"Jab ye 100 rupaye par aaye to mujhe utha dena."

KG girl & boy
Boy:- Can i kiss ur hand.
Girl :- why??
Are my lips poisonous...??
Boy :- Baap re mai to pogo dekhta hu,
ye to HBO dekh ke aai hai...
p :D :O :D...

Santa, Banta aur Pappu picnic pe gaye,
Pahuchne k baad yaad ayaki pepsi ghar bhul gye.
Decide hua ki Pappu ghar se pepsi layega.
Pappu ki ek shart thi ki 
jab tak main na aau koi samose nahi khaega.
2 din guzar gaye, pappu nahi aya.
4 din guzar gaye, nahi aya.
Santa Banta ne socha ab samosa kha lene chahye..
Jese hi santa -banta samose khane lage...
Ped k peeche se Pappu nikla aur bola:
Aise cheating karoge to main pepsi lene nahi jaunga!

Santa train me ek seat par akela leta tha.
Ek aadmi aaya aur bola:"bhai thoda side me ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai.
Santa:"tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu..??
Aadmi darr k dusri jagah baith gaya phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:
"side me ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai"
Santa:"abe oye tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu"
Pahalwan ne santa ki gardan pakad k utha liya aur bola:
"haanbol tu kaun hai..??.
Santa:"ji mai Bimaar hu".. 2 din se tezz bukhar hai.

Bachha- Maa me kaise paida hua?
Maa- Maine ek ghada liya. Usme mitti daali. Thoda sa paani daala.
        Kuchh din baad usme se tum nikale.

Bachhe ne bhi aisa hi kiya-
Kuchh din baad us ghade me se ek mendak nikala
Bachha- Dil to karta he Tujhe jaan se maar doon, magar kya karoon?? Tu meri aulaad hai..