" Dad , can you write in the dark ?"
" I think so. What is it you want me to write ?"
Your name on this report card ".
" I think so. What is it you want me to write ?"
Your name on this report card ".
Showing posts with label funny jokes in english. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny jokes in english. Show all posts
Monday, September 1, 2014
Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad
when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”
when he failed his examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”
A Month before Exams, we prefer the books of
Foreign Authors
A Week before Exams, We prefer the books of
Local Authors
A day before Exam,
trying to read Our own Notes
On the day of Exam,
We Become Authors
"Yaar! Tu bass Heading bata baaki main khud likh lunga...
Foreign Authors
A Week before Exams, We prefer the books of
Local Authors
A day before Exam,
trying to read Our own Notes
On the day of Exam,
We Become Authors
"Yaar! Tu bass Heading bata baaki main khud likh lunga...
Husband :- I found aladin's lamp today.
Wife :- wow, what did u ask for darling ?.
Husband :- I asked him to increase your brain ten times.
Wife :- oh Darling, I love you so much , did he do that ?
Husband :- He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
Wife :- wow, what did u ask for darling ?.
Husband :- I asked him to increase your brain ten times.
Wife :- oh Darling, I love you so much , did he do that ?
Husband :- He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
The brain is the most outstanding organ.
It works for 24 hours, 365 days,
right from your birth,
.
until you step in the exam hall.
It works for 24 hours, 365 days,
right from your birth,
.
until you step in the exam hall.
Things in Boys room Before marriage:
Perfumes
Love letters
Laptops
Cards
Nokia Lumia
.
And After marriage:
Pain killers
Loan papers
Unpaid bills
Huggies
Nokia 1100
Perfumes
Love letters
Laptops
Cards
Nokia Lumia
.
And After marriage:
Pain killers
Loan papers
Unpaid bills
Huggies
Nokia 1100
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked at the door?.
A lady opened it. Before she could speak… The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.
Salesman: – Madam, if I couldn’t clean this up in the next 3 minutes with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit..!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: – Why Madam?
Lady: – Because there’s no electricity in the house…!!! :-P :-P
MORAL: – Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client… & over smartness in India can be deadly.
A lady opened it. Before she could speak… The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.
Salesman: – Madam, if I couldn’t clean this up in the next 3 minutes with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit..!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: – Why Madam?
Lady: – Because there’s no electricity in the house…!!! :-P :-P
MORAL: – Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client… & over smartness in India can be deadly.
Wife : had ur lunch.?
Husband : had ur lunch.?
Wife : i m asking you
Husband : i m asking you
Wife : u copying me.?
Husband : u copying me?
Wife : lets go shopping
Husband :Yes i had my lunch!
Husband Trolled by wife
Husband : had ur lunch.?
Wife : i m asking you
Husband : i m asking you
Wife : u copying me.?
Husband : u copying me?
Wife : lets go shopping
Husband :Yes i had my lunch!
Husband Trolled by wife
Man to a Lady In a Crowded mall: I have Lost My Wife,
Will you Please talk to Me for A second
Lady: why?
Man: because whenever I Talk to Ladies She Appears From nowhere like a ghost...
Will you Please talk to Me for A second
Lady: why?
Man: because whenever I Talk to Ladies She Appears From nowhere like a ghost...
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
Do You want to make
money from Facebook?
.
It's easy.
.
Just go to your Account
Setting,
Deactivate your account,
and Go To Work!
money from Facebook?
.
It's easy.
.
Just go to your Account
Setting,
Deactivate your account,
and Go To Work!
Father 2 son: When i beat you How do you control your anger?..
? Son: By cleaning toilet...
Father: What is my loss
Son: I clean toilet with your tooth brush
Why love marriage is better than Arranged????
B’coz a “KNOWN DEVIL” is better than an “UNKNOWN GHOST”.
B’coz a “KNOWN DEVIL” is better than an “UNKNOWN GHOST”.
A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband..
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !!
Gf : hey Babu.. I Love u.
Bf : love you too .
*Sending failed* ! .
.
Gf : I love u . Really .
* Sending failed* ! .
Bf : aley love you love you ! .
*sending failed* !.
.
Gf : U love me na ? .
Kaha ho .
.
Bf : Bullshit ! .
*sending succesfully* !
.
Breakup..
Bf : love you too .
*Sending failed* ! .
.
Gf : I love u . Really .
* Sending failed* ! .
Bf : aley love you love you ! .
*sending failed* !.
.
Gf : U love me na ? .
Kaha ho .
.
Bf : Bullshit ! .
*sending succesfully* !
.
Breakup..
True bravery is to arrive home ...
fully drunk.. a late night out..
and mom waiting with a jharu
in hand and you ask
"hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho."
fully drunk.. a late night out..
and mom waiting with a jharu
in hand and you ask
"hey mom, abhi tak jaag rahi ho."
SCHOOL LIFE:
Most Irritating Moments - Morning Alarm
Most Difficult Task - To find Socks
Most Dreadful Journey - Way to Class
Most Lovely Time - Meeting Friends
Most Tragic Moments - Surprise Test in 1st Period
Most Wonderful News - Teacher is ABSENT
Most Irritating Moments - Morning Alarm
Most Difficult Task - To find Socks
Most Dreadful Journey - Way to Class
Most Lovely Time - Meeting Friends
Most Tragic Moments - Surprise Test in 1st Period
Most Wonderful News - Teacher is ABSENT
In rain you must be feeling to go out
Dance around
Sing songs
Meet friends
Jump around
No worry...
Every Frogs Feel The Same....;-)